


Animus

by Rukiya



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Body Worship, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence, Jack is Not Okay, M/M, Public Masturbation, Sort of? - Freeform, jack is a messed up dude after the explosion ok
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-18
Updated: 2017-01-18
Packaged: 2018-09-18 07:13:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,396
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9373880
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rukiya/pseuds/Rukiya
Summary: -hostility or ill feeling.Jack has a bad habit of going back to where he died, and gets lost in the feelings of the past.Reaper76 week day one, Decay.





	1. Decay

**Author's Note:**

> I'm giving ya'll one more warning this is weird but yknow -throws confetti- 
> 
> thanks again to my girlfriend Hanzo-san for editing and proofreading. I made them /read/ this.

The remains of the Swiss HQ was still there. People had cleaned up most of the rubble and bodies, but pieces of the structure still stood. The city had decided to leave what was still standing as a memorial for those lost. A particularly large piece of rubble was recovered and engraved with the names of the deceased. Jack walked right past the engraving.

He didn’t have to go to the memorial stone. He knew that the name he was looking for wasn’t engraved there. Gabriel Reyes was a villain here, and his grave was all the way back in Los Angeles, in a little Catholic cemetery. A lifetime away from Jack’s own grave back in Indiana. The world wanted them to rest in peace, as far away from each other as possible. Graves meant nothing to him though. The only time Jack felt close to Gabe was when he was close to where he died. There was a reason Jack was drawn to this place so often. It was the stain.

Jack made his way through the rubbIe, towards his goal. Inside the site, towards the back, there was a stain. Brownish and faded, almost gone. But the concrete there was permanently discolored, an obvious blood stain -- Gabe’s blood. The last thing left of Gabriel Reyes, a brown patch on a rock that was roughly the size of a dinner plate. There was no confirmation that it was even his blood, but Jack was convinced that was where his ex-husband died. Amidst all the chaos of the night, he remembered the calm beforehand. 

\-------

_Jack was in the building closest to the training grounds when the attack occurred, sitting at a table, paperwork in hands. This time it wasn’t official Overwatch business. It was more personal. Two weeks ago Gabe had filed for divorce. Jack knew that they were going through the longest rough patch they had in awhile, with arguing over his new position. Divorce, though? It honestly surprised him. Was he that blind? Even though they slept in different beds, they still kissed and had sex. Sure, they didn’t talk as much, but divorce seemed too soon. Whenever Jack thought of divorce he thought of big dramatic fights that lead up to it. There were snide remarks and the occasional passive-aggressive argument, but… He didn’t know._

_He wished he had someone to talk to. Ana was dead, and Gabe hadn’t come home in two weeks. Even Jesse McCree had disappeared. Torbjorn was at home on leave, and Reinhardt had been forced into retirement early. Jack didn’t realize how few close friends he had around him. There was no one left by his side._

_Jack sighed, pushing the papers away, “I can’t do this right now.” He was going to push back signing the documents again one more day. Maybe tomorrow Gabe will realize the mistake he’s making. Third week’s the charm? Jack was almost thankful when his earpiece buzzed to life._

_“Commander Morrison, we need you in the back of the building immediately.” Jack stood, alert. There was an edge to his subordinate’s voice, one of concern._

_“I’m on my way. Tell me the situation.”_

_“Blackwatch. They’re here, and they’re armed. They’re shooting our men, and th-” That was when the line cut out. Jack didn’t have much time to worry because the moment he stepped into the correct hall, he saw._

_Indeed it was Blackwatch. They were armed and they were taking no prisoners, as per their protocol. At the head of the pack, he saw his husband, kneeling down and rummaging through the pockets of one of Jack’s dead subordinates. Jack watched as Gabe stood up, looking to his small crew._

_“Go. Remember, leave no survivors. We’re not leaving until we get everything we came for.” Jack quickly hid as Gabe’s squad scattered. Only once everyone else had left the area did Jack step forward, unarmed._

_“Gabriel..?” Jack tried to sound confident, but his voice wavered, he couldn’t keep cool seeing his husband like this. Covered in blood, a cold look in his eye. Gabriel looked back, straightening out, a microchip of some sort in his hand._

_“Strike Commander, you’ve arrived.” Gabe’s tone was professional, if not confident. “Maybe now you’ll listen to my concerns with the way things are run.”_

_Jack stepped forward, “You killed all these people, Gabe. I’m not listening to a damn thing you have to say!”_

_Gabe looked irritated, “People? These aren’t people to me, they’re traitors. Jack, this is your last chance to open your eyes and stop hiding behind your damn title.” Gabe’s voice raised. Jack saw red. He didn’t think. He rushed at Gabe, tackling him to the ground. Everything blurred as they fought, but Jack got the better of him. Gabe always said he got scary when he was pissed. He punched Gabe, and wouldn’t stop. He hit him and hit him until his knuckles were raw and smoke filled his lungs. Smoke?_

_Jack was brought out of his rage and looked around. Smoke was everywhere, he could hear distant explosions. How did blackwatch manage to secure bombs? He tried to stand up but was pushed to the ground by Gabe._

_Gabe straddled him, holding Jack’s hands above his head. He was trapped under the man’s thighs. Jack looked up at Gabe’s face, and finally got a good look at the damage. He definitely busted Gabe’s jaw, as he couldn’t seem to close his mouth anymore. Gabe’s lips were swollen and shiny from the blood coating them. His nose was twisted and bleeding, half of his face swollen. He looked like he was trying to say something, but couldn’t form words at the moment. Instead, Gabe settled for slipping the bloody microchip into Jack’s pocket._

_Jack didn’t have much time to struggle after that. A loud sound roared around them. The air became too thick to breathe in, and everything went white._

\-------

Jack knew the hallway he hurt Gabe in was near the back, to the left. He knew that was where Gabe shielded him from the explosion and died himself. That was where Jack left his husband’s lifeless body and escaped, before Angela or any of the crew could find him. He made his way to the large half blown apart hall, and found it. The stain. A couple years back, he had carved Gabe’s name near it. Some morbid kind of memorial. 

“Hey.” Jack sat down next to the discolored patch, taking his mask off, “I finally looked at that damn microchip about six months ago. You were right.” Jack lit a cigarette, inhaling the smoke. It was a different kind of smoke from that day, but it still reminded him of it. 

Jack continued, watching the cigarette burn, “Half of my crew were double agents. Traitors. There are probably more. I was too much of a damn idiot to listen to you.” He looked at the cigarette again, then put it out against the ground, frowning. He looked to the stain again, running a hand across the surface. 

“I miss you, you know.” He really did. He remembered Gabe’s short curly hair and how Jack loved to tangle his hair through it. Jack missed how Gabe just wouldn’t shut up sometimes. He always had to put his two cents into a conversation even if it had nothing to do with him. That usually caused arguments. He missed arguing with Gabe too though, and how their arguments usually devolved into rough sex. 

He definitely missed the sex too. Gabe’s thighs, his ass. How Jack would dig his nails into those hips and get lost in an orgasm. He loved how loud Gabe would be in bed, and how shameless he could be. Jack touched the stain again. This was what was left of Gabe. Jack sighed, feeling a familiar heat pool up in the pit of his stomach. 

“Don’t judge me.” He ordered the discolored stone as he unzipped his pants, pulling them and his underwear down. Jack was already half hard. Even as a blood stain on the floor, Gabe just did things to him. What he was doing ended up being somewhat of a yearly ritual, his way of feeling close to Gabe. He knew it was fucked up, but that fact heated him up more. He was fucked up, very much so. So much so that he lubed himself up at his shitty hotel so he could come here and properly pretend that Gabe was fucking him. 

Jack started stroking himself slowly with one hand, keeping the other firmly on the floor. He thought about all the hand jobs Gabe gave him under the table in his office. How pink Gabe’s tongue looked against Jack’s cock. He imagined Gabe kissing up his shaft with those plump lips. Jack quickened his movements, inhaling sharply. He could practically hear his ex husband whispering encouragement in his ear. He squeezed his balls, imagining the feeling of Gabe’s tongue working its way around his sack. 

“Fuck, Gabe…” He let out a moan, bringing his hand back to his shaft, rubbing his thumb against the leaking head, spreading his legs a bit, using his free hand to run a finger around his hole.  
Jack pushed two fingers in deep, shuddering at the pain mixed with arousal. He hadn’t fully stretched himself out at the hotel, he loved the feeling of being undone from the inside. 

He mumbled Gabe’s name again, thrusting fingers in, scissoring them, stretching himself out. He shuddered as he jerked his cock while thrusting his fingers in deep. Moaning, his hips jerked up while his cock leaked with precum. He scooted back a bit further, letting his fingers roam inside of him, finally brushing against that sweet spot. His toes curled as he roughly thrusted his fingers inside himself over and over, hitting that spot every time. 

“Shit!” His mind was fuzzy now, not clearly imagining scenarios anymore. He heard Gabe’s soft whispers and felt his calloused hands on him. He moaned Gabe’s name again and again, thrusting into his hand while fingering himself deep. He was close. 

Leaning his head against the wall, he got lost in the pleasure, losing his balance and falling over sideways, face against Gabe’s stain. Jack leaned his face against the cool concrete, and came, his heat spilling over his hand and staining his shirt. He didn’t care. 

He pulled his fingers out and curled up, laying there for a long while. Eventually -- having caught his breath -- Jack sighed, kissing the stain gently. 

“I gotta go now. It’ll be morning soon.” Jack pulled his pants back up, zipping up. He sighed, looking at his shirt, attempting to rub at the stain. He’ll have to wash it. But for now, he put his visor back on and went to leave.

Jack looked back once more at the little dinner plate sized stain on the floor. The last thing that remained of the love of his life, immortalized in the rubble of the worst mistake he ever made. 

“See you next year.”


	2. Trust

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Animus: Second meaning- Motivation to do something. 
> 
> the prompt was trust/betrayal, I decided to go the trust route.

“If it’s any consolation, I didn’t know you were alive either.”

Jack wasn’t looking at the hooded man when he spoke to him. He barely acknowledged that the other was in the room. Reaper, the mercenary that has been hunting down Overwatch members one by one. The _monster_ that sucks the life force out of people, leaving an empty husk in his wake. The Talon agent that was tailing Jack, and found him while he was doing his _tradition._ That last part didn’t register. Not much registered. Reaper, was Gabe. Reaper, also known as Gabriel Reyes, was Reaper. Gabriel Reyes was Reaper. His Gabe, Reaper.

Reaper spoke up once more, “Your little war doctor tried to save me. But I was already dead.” He took a step closer to Jack, “This is what happens when you try to revive the dead. My body is dying and regenerating, again and again. It’s constant. So I decided to get revenge on those who took everything from me.”

Jack started to find it hard to focus. He was an idiot. He heard Reaper’s voice again, not quite Gabriel’s, but enough was similar enough that he could tell.

“Jack. I have been on the same mission you have been on. I’m eradicating the people that made Overwatch fail. I just have a bigger plan in mind. Jack, can you listen to me?”

Jack found it hard to focus on anything that wasn’t the ground in front of him. He desperately tried to focus on the room, and not the facts. Tried to ground himself in the present instead of lose himself to memories.

He really was blind, it was obvious that Reaper was Gabriel. His silhouette, the way he wielded his weapons, the way --

Jack noticed that the floor was marble. The marble was a charcoal gray, with little swirls of a lighter gray. It had a smooth quality to it, with flecks of red, just like --

Why didn’t Gabe tell him that he was alive?? Was it because of the divorce? Did Gabe not want him to --

The floor was also dirty, with a bit of dust. Jack figured it was because it was an old building. He was still in Switzerland, in a dirty abandoned building. He didn’t like hotels, they were too expensive, and reminded him too much of being a person, with --

Jack knew that Gabe didn’t want him to know he was alive. He was a bad husband, it had to have been because he was a bad --

The room they were in had four windows, two on the west wall, and two on the east. The north wall is where the door to the hallway was, while the south wall had a simple, beat up couch. The fabric was stained. It was brown. Like blood when it dries after years, like--

“Jack, Breathe.”

He felt a hand on his shoulder, and was grounded. He could breathe. He looked up at his dead husband’s face.

Reaper’s mask was gone, put away. Standing before Jack now was Gabriel Reyes. His skin was a pale gray and cracking. From each crack came a thing plume of smoke. He looked like a cracked piece of stone, stained concrete. The scleras of his eyes were black, the pupils still a muddy, stained brown.  Every bit of skin had little cracks, he looked like he’d fall apart at any moment. Any instance of what Jack had done to him in the fight was gone. His jaw was correct, he could talk…

He was talking.

“Jack. Listen to what I’m saying for one damn second, will you?? What’s wrong with you?” Gabe seemed mad. Jack had no answer.

“I hit you.” Was all he could say. 

Gabe seemed taken aback, pausing before shrugging it off, “Yeah, more than once. We were sparring partners. Which time are you talking about? Was it…” Gabe shook his head, then frowned, “The explosion, right? You broke my damn jaw so I couldn’t tell you what was happening. You’re lucky, Angela’s failed revival still healed my jaw. Do you have a thing about jaws? Whatever. What’s really interesting... ” Gabe straightened up, and stared at Jack, “... Is how five years later I find you getting off at the site of my death, mask off, identity exposed. Among other parts..” His tone sounded surprisingly amused, “Did you miss me that much, Jackie?” 

Jack scowled, looking away, “I was never good at dealing with things that were too hard to handle, is that what you want to hear?” Gabe didn’t answer. They stood in silence for a long time. Finally, Gabe spoke up. 

“I have three questions I require answers to. I deserve answers, I think. I explained everything about me, so it’s only fair.” Jack sighed, he guessed that the whole ‘being dead’ thing was explained, so he had no choice. 

“Alright, shoot.” 

Gabriel took a step back and leaned against the west wall, looking out the window nearest them. It was raining outside, water ran in rivulets down the glass. 

“Why didn’t you look a the microchip until recently?”

Jack blinked, focusing his attention out the window, “... I was afraid that I wouldn’t like what I saw when I opened up the files.”

“And what did you find?” 

Jack sighed, “I found the faces of traitors. A plan for Talon to infiltrate overwatch and break it from the inside.” 

Gabe smiled slightly, cracks deepening and readjusting with the motion. “And what happened to Overwatch?” 

“... It was broken from the inside.” Jack stiffened upon admitting to the truth.

“Exactly.” Gabe seemed satisfied, obviously just wanting to hear that he was right. He turned around, and began to circle the room, “Question two. Why did you come back to the memorial site? I knew you were sentimental, but this is a bit much. Dick out in public like that.”

Jack sighed again, feeling his chest get tight, “Shut up, it’s not something to make light of. ...you were dead, I thought you were. So I…” He paused, trying to find the words, “I wanted to be in the one place that made me feel like you were still there. I liked it. It made me think of you, was easier to imagine you being there.”

Gabe turned around, looking at Jack, “I don’t think that’s true.” He stared into Jack’s eyes, challenging him, “If you wanted to be in the one place that felt like I was ‘still there’, you could have chosen Los Angeles. Or our vacation home up in Tahoe. Hell, you could have chosen Numbani because that’s where we won the war! What about the place I proposed to you?”

Jack flinched at every suggestion, keeping his gaze firmly out the window, “What do you want me to say?”

“I want you to tell the truth. Why here.”

Jack’s hands turned to fists, digging his nails into the flesh of his palm, “...Because this is where I made a mistake.”  Jack felt Gabriel’s hand on his shoulder, “This is where I decided that you weren’t my husband, but a traitor. This is where I should have died. I should have...” He couldn’t do this. He felt his throat tighten, “This is where I had to come to terms with every bad decision I made as a leader.” Jack took a deep breath, “I made it my own personal grave for you because I couldn’t go to your grave in Los Angeles! I couldn’t go to your home and have to see the look on the faces of your family members. I couldn’t see them devastated that their son not only died but was forever shamed because of me. That stain, is the only thing left I had of you.”  

He waited for some kind of response.

None came.

Jack finished, “That stain is the only thing I deserve to have of you. Just a piece of rock and a memory is all I deserve for what I did.”

Finally, Gabe replied, “And what did you do?”

Jack turned to Gabe, “Really?? I’m the cause of everything that went down that night.”

Gabriel shook his head, “I blew up the watchtower. I knew the consequences and was ready to go down as the villain. That was on me, and you know that. Now tell me, what did you do?”

Jack took a breath, “... I hit you.” hearing himself say those words made his stomach twist.

“When?” Was Gabe’s ony reply.

“Before the explosion, we fought.” Jack paused, knowing it wasn’t the right answer. “...But it was also before that. Before we went to Zurich, a year before. Ana was dead, it was my fault. You were angry at me, at how big the oversight was. You kept yelling, and crying about how we should have _known_ there was something wrong with Amelie, or at least kept her for 48 hours to examine her behavior. But I was soft. I was just happy to be reuniting a husband with his wife, and you called me soft. Too soft to lead. You said I cared too much about a storybook happy ending and that was why Gerard died and why Ana had died also. You said I let the enemy get away with infiltrating my ranks. You said I was nothing to Overwatch but a pretty face and my only job was to wave at cameras. I couldn’t take it, I saw red. I hadn’t slept for days, and I was a little drunk. I broke your jaw.” Jack rubbed his forehead, feeling a headache coming, “You didn’t even fight back at first, just looked stunned.”

Gabe scoffed, “Well yeah, I normally wouldn’t fight my husband in the kitchen.” There was silence again.

No one spoke. Jack looked back out the window, so did Gabriel. The silence was almost deafening, before Gabriel cleared his throat.

“I did give you a black eye once I recovered from the shock of having my damn jaw broken.” Jack knew that was supposed to be taken lightly, but he couldn’t muster the strength to smile. It just made him feel tired.

Jack shrugged, looking down at his shoes, “I hit you first.”

“I know.” More silence, Gabe looked away,  “But, you were under a lot of stress. I had told you Strike Commander wasn’t going to be an easy. You made mistakes. You forced a child into getting augmented surgery become a cyborg to defeat his own family. You let a brainwashed woman go back home with her adoring husband without so much as thinking of the consequences. Ana did die because of that slip up, I’m not backing down on that. But also, hindsight is twenty-twenty, I guess.”

Jack found it in him to give a half smile, “You were going somewhere good with that pep talk at first, but it got shitty towards the end.”

Gabriel rolled his eyes, “If you let me finish. ...You were under stress. Too much. One man shouldn’t have to run an entire military group. I’m surprised you didn’t hit anyone else. I understand why you did it, Jack. I do. I was fucked up by Blackwatch, so I get it. Tensions get high, and I did get you back. What you did wasn’t you, it was the job taking over.”

Jack crossed his arms  over his chest, looking up, this didn’t feel right to him. “I don’t think I deserve forgiveness like this, Gabe...”  

“Oh, don’t get it twisted.” Gabe frowned, “I don’t forgive you. I don’t think I ever could forgive you. You broke my _jaw,_ asshole. I just gave you a black eye after. How long did that take to heal, two weeks? Mine took six months give or take. What I’m offering you is understanding. It’s the best I can do. You were difficult after that, and so was I. We both fucked around instead of actually talking about what happened. You just tried so desperately to pretend nothing happened, you started to believe your own damn lies. But it did happen, and we changed.”

Jack bit his lip, before sighing. Gabe was right, he had avoided talking about what happened, even desperately tried to forget. And then he went and replicated it at Zurich.

“It’s a little late, but I’ll sign those divorce papers now if you want.”

“Don’t you know anything? It’s ‘til death do we part, asshole.” Gabe grinned, “And I died five years ago.”

Jack smiled half heartedly, “Great, now you can go looking for single ancient spirits in your area.”

Gabe snorted, “You still have your shit sense of humor I see.”  

Jack shrugged, then smiled a little wider. It felt like a little bit of what they were was still there, with how quickly they switched back to banter. It felt comforting.

“You still have one question left.”

“That I do.” Gabe moved closer to Jack, putting a hand on his shoulder again, “Last question. Did you want to help me take down Talon?”

Jack blinked, “Me, Really? Gabe, you know I just can’t join Talon now. They’ve been on my ass for months.”

Gabe rolled his eyes again, frowning, “I’m not saying join Talon. I’m saying keep me informed. We both have the same goal in the end so wouldn’t it be easier to work as a team? You’re still one of the strongest soldiers I know. We both have the same super soldier serum running through our veins.”

Jack looked away, “I don’t know. It’s been awhile since we’ve worked together, and--”

“And nothing.” Gabriel cupped Jack’s face, clawed hand running through what hair he had left, “I’m not saying things will be like they were, but I’m offering you the beginnings of trust. Listen. With me infiltrating from within and you from the outside, we could actually do this. They think we’re still trying to kill each other” Gabe looked determined, “Say that I can trust you with this, come on.”

Trust. Jack took a deep breath. Was that what he wanted? He didn’t know, but it felt close.

“...Okay.”

Gabe nodded, stepping away, “Good. We’ll be in touch.” He looked relieved, made his way to the window, opening it. “And by the way. If you’re going to fuck yourself thinking of me, at least do it in nicer place, for God’s sake. Like a bed with roses on it. Anything but by a piece of rock in an area that looks like you can find hypodermic needles thrown about.”

Jack felt heat rise to his face, embarrassment finally settling in after talking things out, “... I’ll keep that in mind, thanks.”

Gabe grinned, saluting, “See you soon, Soldier.” He turned to smoke, blowing out the window. He was gone from the room in an instant.

Jack was left alone. Somehow though, he felt a bit lighter now. Even if that meant working with someone he never thought he’d see again. Despite everything, Gabe was alive. Gabe was still Gabe. And despite everything, Jack was still himself. He had a purpose, with a new partner. Things weren’t good by a long shot, but maybe someday they’d get decent. Maybe eventually Jack and Gabe could salvage what was left of what they were. He put his visor back on, heading out the door.

  
He didn’t think he’d have to come back next year.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks again to Hanzo-san whooh 
> 
> I actually super like this ending? it's bittersweet almost, and not too unrealistic I hope! comments and kudos are super appreciated!
> 
> now I'm off to do that second chapter for Barlow!

**Author's Note:**

> There's gonna be one more chapter after this, it will have Reaper in it. I'm undecided on if they'll reconcile or just find peace in what used to be. Who knows. Talking will be involved tho! and no sex. it'll be for day three of reaper 76 week, betrayal/trust.


End file.
